Please Be Strong My Friend

What a week this has been. My last entry was on Monday, and since then, I haven't been able to find the time to write.

Everything was going smoothly for me this week... work was progressing well, my significant other has been very supportive, and the twins were very well behaved... and the event that we have planned for went extremely well today.

But this morning... I received an sms from a very good friend of mine. And suddenly my world turned upside down. The message read: "I met with an accident at 1.30 a.m. this morning. My second child had passed away." I was devastated. I just couldn't believe my eyes. This cannot be true! She is such a sweet girl.

I decided to get in touch with my other friends, hoping that the news was not true. Unfortunately, everyone else confirmed it. But I still couldn't believe it. Calling him was not an option at that time as I knew he'd be busy with the funeral. So, I just had to pretend that nothing had happened.

Apparently he was trying to avoid hitting another car in front of him but his car swerved and the child was thrown out of the car, only to be crushed by it. She died on the spot. And she was only 7 years old.

I was able to keep my emotions in control the whole day at the office. I reached home at around 6.30 p.m. when I decided, it was time to make a call. I dialled his number, we said hello... but as soon as I heard his voice, I just couldn't take it anymore. The plan to stay calm, and give him the moral support he required went into the drain. I just cried. And cried. And cried. And cried.

I am amazed at his calmness. He is such an incredible man.. a man with strong iman.. and he accepted it as fate from Allah..

I guess... Life must go on... And therefore, everyone should live it to the fullest... Love hard so that when the time comes, there will be no regrets..

To my dearest W, Rest in peace. We will definitely miss you very much..

And to my dearest B & F, May Allah reward you with all the strength you require... Please be strong my friend....

A Memorable Night

It was the 'night' of the year. The Juara Lagu 19 took place last night. My favourite song, "Relaku Pujuk" won the competition. And I am terribly happy. He sang so well. Although I personally think that there was a lack of competitiveness amongst them, overall the performances were good. Siti Nurhaliza, the Malaysian songstress, refused to enter the competition this year, but she would have won if she did.

I tried to translate part of the winning song..

No words are more superior than your expression of love that I have been waiting for.. (Tiada lafaz yang lebih agung, Kalimah cintamu, Yang ku tunggu-tunggu)

Nice.. And very meaningful too.....

Men will be Men

It has been an extremely challenging day for me today. My to-do-list just keeps growing. And just because of one small mistake (well, it is small to me but big to my boss).. I had to endure a 20-minute lecture from my superior about separating emotions from work. He didn't even let me defend my actions. Damn you! But I did have a good laugh.. he said that maybe, I was under a spell which was the reason why I acted the way I did. He is just plain crazy.. no, not crazy, annoying and irritating. I am not sure how much longer I can stand working under him.

Now, let me talk about something that may 'uplift' my spirits. My significant other has been on the night shift since Tuesday night, and I haven't seen him since Tuesday morning. I was listening to the radio on the way to work this morning, when he called me. And the conversation went something like this...

H: So, what are you listening to?

M: Actually, I am listening to Sheila Majid's Kerinduan (literally means I Miss You)

H: Hmm.. I miss you.

M: I miss you too. (feeling like bursting already)

....Silence...

H: Do you know that Mahmoud Abbas won the elections?

M: Huh????? What does that have to do with you missing me?

H: Nothing. Just thought I mention it to you.

M: Oh... Okay.

I admit I am a romantic person at heart. Although I do accept that men sometimes find it hard to express their feelings.... but that conversation this morning.... goodness... I should tell him that I'd prefer if he'd be more romantic.... :)

Panic Attack

I was doing some work last night when I suddenly realized that besides the things that are pending on my table, I still have heaps more to do! I panicked for awhile. Then I realise, I should calm myself down and try and think straight. I started listing down one by one, the things that I need to accomplish before the end of the month. And the list looks scary. But, then again.. the list is a list. To face my superior is another BIG thing. That is even worse. I think I should start thinking about getting another job.

Coincidently, my friend sent me an email this morning, which after reading, I said to myself, How True!! The email says this:

A BOSS IS LIKE A DIAPER.. ALWAYS ON YOUR ASS AND USUALLY FULL OF SHIT.

To go or not to go..

The trip to KL was extremely tiring. Mom and dad thought it would be a good idea to bring the twins along to their cousins' home but, I think they got a little too excited during the journey. They must have thought.. "hmmm, it won't be that far so let us have some fun.." Subhanallah, they just couldn't sit still!! For three solid hours! Mom later commented, "The next time around, let us think ten times before bringing them along!" We learnt our lesson.

But, I guess that is part and parcel of raising your children. I mean, what fun would it be if we stayed home all the time? It was actually great having them jumping about in the car, screaming and laughing, teasing one another. They looked so adorable. Despite the fact that we are all, at the moment, almost half-dead, I, for one.. could still hear their adorable voices ringing in my ears. I'm sure that mom, dad and hubby feel the same...

Bridget Jones part 2 is out now. I might persuade my significant other to come with me to the movies next week (if the kids are in a good mood and if my mom agrees to take care of them for an extra 3 hours). I enjoyed Part 1 very much, so I'm sure I'll enjoy Part 2.

But then again, the images of people in tears after discovering their beloved's dead bodies and the images of the homes that were destroyed.. are still in my head. If I can get them out of my head, I'd probably decide to go for that movie. Or else, I'll just wait for it to be available on VCD and watch it at home with the kids.

Is this a sign from Him?

It has been awhile since I last wrote. I have been so extremely busy with work that I couldn't find the time to even log on to the internet. I have been returning home from work quite late for the past few days.. the twins seemed to have given up waiting for me to come home. I am glad that the event is over. It took up all my energy and I couldn't even think straight the day before the event. But I am glad that everything went on smoothly although, I must say that there were some things which they commented during the meeting that actually made us furious. My boss actually went biserk! Never mind that.. I am glad, so extremely glad that it is over!!!!! I was so tired the next day that I went home after lunch and slept for the rest of the day.

Life still goes on... The tsunami disaster is still in everyone's head. And I have been praying so hard for the tsunami victims for the past few days. Subhanallah.. this is such a great test from Allah. And the power of Allah is so clear... did anyone notice the mosque that stood still in the middle of the city even when everything around it was destroyed? Read more here. Is this a sign from Him?

Praise Allah!

It is the second day of the new year. Not that I celebrate new year anyway. But it is a good time to reflect on what we have done over the past one year. Muslims are encouraged to reflect upon what they have done on a daily basis.. I think it is called muhasabah in Arabic. If you think you have done a lot of good deeds during the day, praise Allah for allowing you to do so and pray that you'll be able to increase it the next day. But if you have committed a sin or sins for that matter during the day, well... Allah is the Most Forgiving, so repent and promise yourself that you will not repeat the same mistakes again!

The twins have been so wonderful today. We took them out to get some groceries this morning, and they were so obedient. No more running around the store playing hide and seek.. and no more yelling or crying after a fight.. Actually, it does make you feel good when people around you notice that you have a pair of twins.. I mean after three years of marriage, Allah blessed me with two beautiful daughters... It just feels great.

And I only have Allah to praise for this wonderful gift. A huge number of children have died due to the tsunami disaster.. and it makes me, as a mother treasure them even more.

Well, life must go on. And I will be back to work tomorrow after this well-deserved break. Allah, please protect us from harm and grant us forgiveness so that we would be able to meet You when the time comes.... Subhanallah!