I never meant to hurt you

I love the photo above. It reminds me of him. He loves to hug me that way. And I am so glad we made up. Although the hurt is still there, but we made up for the kids.

He asked me why we are so different from each other. I couldn't answer him. I simply said, probably because we both have different aims in life. Thus, whatever we do would reflect that aim. I want something else. He wants something else. He asked me again what I want in life. I told him that I want Allah's love. He was silent.

But that was the truth. I am beginning to think so much about death and life after it. I don't think I am ready at all. Look at the number of missed prayers over my 30 years of age. Look at the number of sins I have committed. Should I go on living my old way of life?

I want to gain His love. I want you to gain His love. My love, if you are reading this, please know that I love you so much.. but Allah's love is greater. Let us walk this journey towards Allah's love together.. Lead me... Hold my hand and show me the way...

Allah... give me guidance... patience...