Away on business trip.. and others

i. Away on business trip

Hah.. that was the reason why I couldn't find the time to update my blog. I was outstationed last week on Thursday and Friday. Not far. Only to Kuala Lumpur. Well, it is considered far from where I live. Anyway, I left the kids with my mom since she doesn't want to tag along. But my darling husband was there with me. We managed to catch up on a few things.. felt like it has been ages since we last went out for dinner, just the two of us.. without the kids. No doubt, they are always on our minds.. in fact, our conversations seem to concentrate on them. But then.. minus the screamings.... :)...

ii. My husband hates KL

He was always complaining. He'd rather stay in the hotel room for the whole day while I attended some meetings instead of going shopping. We were staying so close to KLCC, and yet he still wants to stay in the hotel. There was once when we went to have dinner at KLCC, after much arguing on where and what to eat we decided to get some noodles. That was when he quietly said to me, "I hate this place. Banyak maksiat." I asked him, "What do you mean?" "For a guy, it is a big challenge to control his eyes. Semuanya terbuka." Hmmm.....

iii. Somebody found out that I did not invite him for the small gathering

Ouch! This was what I dreaded. Silly me! How could I have invited someone from his department without inviting him?????? And I knew him much better than this other person that I actually invited. Sorry Mr Z. I will not forget to invite you the next time around (if I ever have one again!). Cooking for 30 was tough enough, I don't know how one can manage cooking for 200+ people! (note to mardhiah12!)

iv. That time of the year - Appraisal!!!

Monday morning... Aghhhhhh! No mood to work. And suddenly I get a phone call from my boss.. "Can you see me at 11.30? I need to discuss your performance appraisal." PANIC! But alhamdulillah.. the 1 hour 20 minute session went well. So, I am happy, and so is he!

A Small Gathering

What a tiring weekend it was! I decided to organize a small gathering at my house on Sunday for some of my closest friends. My husband has advised me to limit the numbers to 30, or else he doesn't think I could handle it. So, 30 it was. But then, when I tried to list the names down, the list went to over 100! I kept thinking to myself, if I invited A and not B, what would B say? Or if I invited C instead of D, would I lose a good friend? After doing a lot of thinking and pondering, I decided to cut off some names until the list got to 30.

The next question was, do I cater the food from outside, or do I cook the food myself? I love cooking, but I have never cooked for 30++ people. What do I do? I did some calculation, the difference between getting someone to cook for you and you cooking on your own was quite huge, so I decided to challenge myself to do it on my own. I started cooking on Saturday night, after Maghrib, slept at 2.30 a.m. and then woke up again at 6.00 to continue work.

And alhamdulillah.. it was a huge success. Everyone turned up, and they enjoyed the food. The only frustrating thing was that my beloved, darling twins suddenly decided to become shy and stayed in the room most of the time. When I tell them to come out of the room and say hello to mama's friends... "Tak nak... takut..." (No... we're scared..) Haha! The elder one looked so cute when she said that..

Thank you friends, for coming and being part of my most cherishable moments in life.

Making Decisions

There are times in life when we must make decisions. And these decisions that you are forced to make may affect your entire life... your husband may think that you are crazy, your kids will hate you for the rest of their lives.. and your parents think that you are an idiot.

But then.. what is life without making decisions, right?

I must pray istikharah tonight. I pray that Allah will show me some light.......

Time Flies... and Mawi

My husband left for morning shift at about 6 this morning, so I walked him out to his car. After a hectic day on Sunday, neither of us were in the mood to work, so we chatted for awhile before he finally drove off. I went back into the house hoping to get some office work done but to my surprise, my twins were standing in front of the room, and were sleepily saying... "Abah gi kerja..." (which means.. Dad has gone to work..) They don't usually wake up that soon, so I laughingly took them back to the bed, slept between them as I always do (or else they will start fighting) and tried to lure them to continue sleeping.

And all of a sudden, the younger one said.. "Nak Mawi".. (I want Mawi).. Of course, hearing the younger one mentioning Mawi, the elder one automatically asked for the same. I couldn't control my laughter (we just bought a VCD of Mawi the day before and they couldn't seem to get enough of him) and finally said, "Okay, tidur dulu nanti kita tengok Mawi" (Take a nap first, we'll watch Mawi later). Alhamdulillah, they just agreed, and quickly closed their eyes. They were fast asleep within 10 minutes.

How time flies..... my two-year-old twins can now request to watch Mawi. Hmmm... wonder if I should be proud or get worried!

Hypocrites

How can you tell if a person is a hypocrite?

I have wanted to tell people, especially those close to me about this, but I am so afraid of the outcome. But it has been hanging in my head for so long, that I don't feel I can keep up with it anymore..

A few weeks ago, I was in close contact with one of my colleagues. We had to do a project together. And over that short period of time, we worked very closely. You see, this person is well known by others as a person who is "islamically" inclined. What I mean is that he is always reading the Holy Quran, always saying Allah's name, always praying at the mosque.. and his friends are all imaams and sheikhs from all over the world. I respect him very much.. and would never imagine him being "another" person.. until he began to show his true colours.

On this particular day, he did something that I completely did not expect.. It came as a very, very big surprise to me. It may look 'nothing' to the eyes of others... But to me, it is a big, sinful thing. And I hated it. I hated him for it. And I hate him so much now.

I have lost respect of him from that point onwards. And I pray that Allah protects me from being in contact with him again.

And I pray that he realizes what he has done.. and that he repents from it.

Am I wrong in labeling him a 'hypocrite'?

Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage

This is a great article to share..

Following are some rules that may benefit those seeking an Islamic marriage, as well as, those who are already married.

1. Be conscious of your physical appearance

No one was more conscious of this than the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. His Sunnah reflects keen attention to personal hygiene and good grooming. He kept himself strong and muscular. Most likely the first aspect of you that attracted your spouse was your appearance, so don't think that simply because you are married the task is over. You can't hide a weight problem under Thawbs' (dress) and long Khimars' (veils). Your spouse knows. Be aware that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical appearance. It flaunts the shapely female and hermuscular counterpart. Temptations that beckon non-Muslims beckon Muslims as well. Don 't allow your spouse to get side-tracked by the likes of film stars. Jog, join a gym, roller skate, swim and stay in shape (within the confines of Shari'ah). Insha'Allah, you will be more vibrant, more radiant, and more attractive to your spouse.

2. Be a companion to your spouse

Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse's interests and hobbies. It is well-known that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam would run races with 'Aisha R.A. By all means try to involve your spouse in your interests.

3. Be active in Islamic community life

This will strengthen your commitment to Islam while providing you with a wholesome social outlet.

4. Admit to your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when your spouse errs

Most Muslims fall short of the Islamic ideal. Contradictions abound. Be quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be understanding when your spouse does not live up to the Islamic ideal and gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.

5. Have a sense of humor

Be able to chuckle at life's minor aggravations.

6. Be modest when around members of the opposite sex

Do not try to test your spouse's affection by feigning interest in another. This will only cause dissension and bad feelings.

7. Share household duties

Brothers, take note. This is especially important these days when women work outside the home. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam always helped his wives around the house and even mended his own clothes. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the evening meal or taking care of the child/children so your wife can have the afternoon off. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).

8. Surprise each other with gifts

Treat her to an evening out alone, away from the children. There are no words to describe the lift this can give to a marriage.

9. Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad

Tell him how handsome he looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open discussion. Don't collect red stamps. Nip it in the bud .

10. Live within your means

Stay away from credit cards if you can. Sisters, take note. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, and belittle your husband because he can't provide them for you. Muslim couples will do well to stay away from ostentatious living. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam did not live this way, neither should you.

11. Respect your spouse's need for privacy

A quiet time to oneself, either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable person agreeable.

12. Don 't share personal problems with others

There are a few exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems, make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence. If you have a learned Muslim brother or sister in your community, seek him or her out first.

13. Be sensitive to your spouse's moods

If you want to share a personal achievement, don't do it when your spouse is 'down in the dumps'. Wait for the proper time. You may be saying to yourself, "This is easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, its perfection is "half of faith".

"Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead righteous." [Surah Al-Furqan Verse 74]

The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good spouse.

Adapted from the original article "Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage" by Muntaqima Abdur-Rashid and taken from ..a wife's babbling...

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