Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage

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Following are some rules that may benefit those seeking an Islamic marriage, as well as, those who are already married.

1. Be conscious of your physical appearance

No one was more conscious of this than the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. His Sunnah reflects keen attention to personal hygiene and good grooming. He kept himself strong and muscular. Most likely the first aspect of you that attracted your spouse was your appearance, so don't think that simply because you are married the task is over. You can't hide a weight problem under Thawbs' (dress) and long Khimars' (veils). Your spouse knows. Be aware that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical appearance. It flaunts the shapely female and hermuscular counterpart. Temptations that beckon non-Muslims beckon Muslims as well. Don 't allow your spouse to get side-tracked by the likes of film stars. Jog, join a gym, roller skate, swim and stay in shape (within the confines of Shari'ah). Insha'Allah, you will be more vibrant, more radiant, and more attractive to your spouse.

2. Be a companion to your spouse

Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse's interests and hobbies. It is well-known that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam would run races with 'Aisha R.A. By all means try to involve your spouse in your interests.

3. Be active in Islamic community life

This will strengthen your commitment to Islam while providing you with a wholesome social outlet.

4. Admit to your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when your spouse errs

Most Muslims fall short of the Islamic ideal. Contradictions abound. Be quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be understanding when your spouse does not live up to the Islamic ideal and gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.

5. Have a sense of humor

Be able to chuckle at life's minor aggravations.

6. Be modest when around members of the opposite sex

Do not try to test your spouse's affection by feigning interest in another. This will only cause dissension and bad feelings.

7. Share household duties

Brothers, take note. This is especially important these days when women work outside the home. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam always helped his wives around the house and even mended his own clothes. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the evening meal or taking care of the child/children so your wife can have the afternoon off. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).

8. Surprise each other with gifts

Treat her to an evening out alone, away from the children. There are no words to describe the lift this can give to a marriage.

9. Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad

Tell him how handsome he looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open discussion. Don't collect red stamps. Nip it in the bud .

10. Live within your means

Stay away from credit cards if you can. Sisters, take note. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, and belittle your husband because he can't provide them for you. Muslim couples will do well to stay away from ostentatious living. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam did not live this way, neither should you.

11. Respect your spouse's need for privacy

A quiet time to oneself, either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable person agreeable.

12. Don 't share personal problems with others

There are a few exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems, make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence. If you have a learned Muslim brother or sister in your community, seek him or her out first.

13. Be sensitive to your spouse's moods

If you want to share a personal achievement, don't do it when your spouse is 'down in the dumps'. Wait for the proper time. You may be saying to yourself, "This is easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, its perfection is "half of faith".

"Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead righteous." [Surah Al-Furqan Verse 74]

The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good spouse.

Adapted from the original article "Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage" by Muntaqima Abdur-Rashid and taken from ..a wife's babbling...